A little Spanish ish

You will not like this song. But it is great.

Midget Cruise

I sent my first ever email to ESPN.com's Bill Simmons today. He wanted a reality show idea and Tim and myself have done a pretty damn good job developing probably the best show ever. So the email read-

You need two more reality tv shows to complete the summer of 2009. Make it one.

It begins with marketing. You need a ton of advertising all over America, saying that (insert network name here) is casting for an all-sexy-singles cruise for the newest and hottest reality show ever. It's completely free. Drinks, food, living, you can get all this just for being sexy. The thing we don't tell these young sex-crazed young adults is that the cruise is all female. They only find out after the cruise leaves port. At first, they are going to be weirded out, but hey, it's a free cruise, so they will try to enjoy themselves.

But here's where it gets good. All the food is phallic shaped. All the drinks have dirty names. On tv, only porn. The music that is played over the ship's pa has been taken from soundtracks of the porn industry's best. Everything says, "sex." So first the women resort to drunk hook-ups with other chicks (we might have to pay some royalties to Joe Francis for this). Then after six months of phallus-less cruising, we dock. But not to let the women off of the ship, but to send hundreds of male midgets on board.

This is where the game gets interesting. The last person, who resorts to having sex with a little person will win one million dollars, but none of the women know this. The jingle goes as follows, "MIDGET CRUISE! How long 'till you fuck 'em?" Every moment will be filmed. It will make us millions, Simmons. There could even be spinoffs. Season 2- Farm Cruise, same rules apply. And the third season could even be Simmons based. Simmons Cruise! How long till you fuck him?

(It should be noted that I am not drunk, but this is a well-developed concept that came to me while drinking.)

So we will see if I get picked, lol.

My favorite drink

Not only is this rum racially insensitive, it is actually rhum. And that's not even the best part, it's dirt cheap and goes down like it's  malibu.

Working Hard

These are some of my notes. Let me tell you firsthand, I am working really hard.

This is one of my favorites, which is titled "Janked Bitch." It's from my cubist period.


Edgar actually loves cock. No seriously, look at that detail. The face coming in from the far side is just pure genius. 

So as you could have probably guessed I am giving up writing to focus full time on shit-talking- art. If anyone would like to be my patron, I will gladly draw you in any artistic style of your choosing.

A Mllie

Posts. Really though, I am going to upload some of my drawings tonight. But for now, enjoy this . Or don't enjoy it and fuck off. 

Weeeee

Wrote a column for the daily cal. There is a small typo, which I cannot claim responsibility for, but I think it still is an okay read. 

Let me know. 

Sorry for neglecting you. The internet died this weekend at the university. The whole uni went down. Not just the dorms, but the whole damn thing. Yeah, Spain is still in the stone age.

Going to see bruno tonight in English with spanish subtitles. I'm excited. 

Travel

PART 3. 

travel

There are some sentences that I am really proud of. Pt 2.

Travel Blog

I got back on the circuit with the Daily Cal travel Blog, and this is the first of a three part installment. 

Check yo'self.

Zot x2

"What language do they speak in Portugal?"-asks Man U guy.

Zot Zot

Zot-Zot pt III

"Where does Manchester United play?"

– One of my classmates on the way to see Christiano Ronaldo's presentation to Real Madrid. 

Zot-Zot.

And in case you were wondering the correct answer is : Manchester, England. Their stadium is Old Trafford. But just Manchester would have worked.

Zot-Zot pt II

A girl in my class– "Wow, look at the gondola!"

Zot-Zot

Zot-Zot

I have recently found out that the UCI students show their support for their mascot, the anteater (read: shitty mascot), by pinching their two middle fingers together with their thumb, with the pointer and pinkie up in the air (the old NWO wolfpack symbol) and they yell, "Zot-Zot!" 

Zot-Zot. 

Most of my classmates here in Madrid are very smart, but there are some people that make you question the foundation of the American educational system. They are really fucking dumb, like Zot-Zot.

As a result, I have adopted Zot-Zot as a way of pointing out people's dumb actions, quotes, or overall dumbassness. I think it is catching on. 

I plan on using this when I get back. So pick it up now. 

Zot-Zot. 

Idiocy

In class yesterday, our film instructor asked the class which two groups fought in the Spanish Civil war. 

A girl responded, "France!" 

Our teacher then proceeded to question the class, "Do you know what civil war means?"

I am a little dumber because of that moment. 

Zot-Zot