Getting the pants rolled up.

I like this look with the exception of the shirt. I don't know if I could pull it off, but it will be worth a few tries. That is, when the swelling in my ankle goes down enough to fit into shoes again. What a day that will be.

Roma-O-ma-ma

Levi

Levi’s® × Tommy Guerrero Ranchero Collection T-Shirts

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Parents?

This video begs one question, what kind of parents are letting their children take part in something like this?

Time to start again: Freewrite

This is me typing on my keyboard. It’s what I do. Actually, I peck. I use only a small number of my digits, somewhere around four is my best guess. I am prone to typos. Not mistakes, mind you, I never make mistakes, only typos. Sometimes it’s my keys fault. They don’t always bounce back and get stuck in place and my text often ends up looking like this, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Like I said, typos. These typos happen because I peck, not as a result of anything but my lack of skill as a typist.

I should take a class. I would probably not pay attention in this class though and it would not benefit me in the slightest. I do not pay attention in class. I often write in my notebook during class. It only cost me 4.95 but if you do the math, because of my doodling and scribblings the thing is worth somewhere around 100,000 dollars. Imagine that. The things I have in there are probably not worth that, if anything at all. But it’s too late to go back, as I do not have a hot tub time machine.

You should go see that movie. It’s good, really good. Well maybe that’s an exaggeration brought on by my love for hot water, men, alcohol and time travel. But still, I suggest you see it. And don’t bring your notebook otherwise you would waste 9 dollars. I was asked for identification when I bought my ticket. I’m 22. This hurt my feelings in a way.

I can’t grow facial hair and I am rather insecure about it. Every so often, I try to let my facial hair grow for a week just to see if it has blossomed at all. It hasn’t. I fear I will never be able to grow facial hair. Vonnegut had an amazing mustache, which I am jealous of. So did Custer. His was very big and blonde. My facial hair, what I have of it at least, appears to be brown or blackish. I wonder how I would look with said black mustache. Either way, it saddens me. My bare face. I look so young an vulnerable. Okay, vulnerable is maybe too strong of a word for my facial features being that I am such a large burly awesome super cool kind of guy. Again, there’s another exaggeration. Sorry.

I shouldn’t feel the need to apologize. So let me change that to fuck you. See, now that’s better. Here’s a sentence I always wanted to experiment with:

Bam!

Rather short and concise, but it gets the job done. You can almost feel the pain and angst in that Bam! Freud might suggest that it has something to do with my repressed sexual desire to copulate with my brother. But that doesn’t make any sense because my brother is straight. Then again, what does Freud know, he’s dead. Too many cigars.

I bet he wishes he could take a lot of the stuff he said back. I would if I were him. But he’s dead now, so he can’t which is unfortunate in a way because he’s ruined a lot of bright minds with his bull shit. Maybe some of his stuff is right, I don’t know. I just don’t buy into all that fuck your mom nonsense. Really though, if you were that hard up for sex, wouldn’t you just hire a prostitute rather than fuck your mom. That’s me though. And he’s still dead.

This means that he is unable to operate a twitter. I never know what to say on that thing. It’s just 140 characters yet everytime I click on the box to type, I go blank. Not even blank, but like duhhhhhh. Like right now, it’s like duhhhhh, but I keep my fingers moving on these keys because it has been so long, oh so goddamn long since I posted one of these motherfuckers on the blog. And I’ll be better. Oh I’ll try. But no promises.

And Ricky Martin is gay.

For my brother, who doesn't read this.

DIg it part deux

Dig it!

BAM!

Walmart

Alyse just spent an hour laughing to tears at this blog

Just go, you won't be disappointed.

Eating my childhood

I was a fat little kid. Not obese, but fat.

I just didn't miss any meals.

Recently, I have been eating things that are bringing back memories. Two weeks ago when my mom visited, she brought up a bunch of snacks– fruit snacks, fruit rollups and licorice. Yeah, I've been pooping red.

But seriously, the goodies took me back.

Back to the days of Kirk Fogg and Olmec.

I'm off to get some mondo juice or maybe some

An apology

I am a really bad person. It has been so long since I have hit this thing with some new stuff. I'm sorry people who used to frequent my blog.

It's not as though I haven't been writing. I have been, a lot. Columns, advances, recaps, papers, reading responses, everything, except blogging.

But in the heat of paper-season, I will re-dedicate myself to you former visitors.

I promise.

Oh and in case you care enough, twitter.com/joecannonballs

Booyah, suckas.

Cannon Fodder

Here's this week's column.

I know I haven't had a good story in a while, but the four roommates are road tripping to Oregon this weekend, so I will come back with a ton of material.

So there.

The Informant!

The Informant! was a bizarre narrative, folding and unfolding itself, unravelling all the while with the lies of Matt Damon's character.

The concept of truth and the changes that the audience undergoes in their opinion and image of Damon is insane. The subvocalization/narration is hilarious. The anecdotes are so awkward.

It reminds me of the way Daniel Coffeen started out class in Rhetoric 10– "Everything I say is a lie."

This movie asks the audience to judge the truth when the facts are constantly changing and being exposed as lies.

It really is worth a see. Some very funny parts. And I plan on grabbing the book, which lacks the exclamation point (or so I've heard) because the way the film was structured, it says "read the book, because there's more of these great little anecdotes that we didn't have time for in the movie."

Not so sexy on Tuesday

Longshore Column

column love

In my unending search for self-deprecating material, I came across this forum on a cal website, trashing my 7 things I hate about gamedays at Cal column.

It was sooo terrible that they had to make a list of things that annoy them, just so they are not haters. Awesome.

Here's the link, note the number of replies and comments. I never thought I could have made such a positive contribution to the world of Cal sports and humanity in general.

lol.

Blog post

for the Daily Cal, what's up.

Note: Soccer players tell bad jokes.

And boom goes the dynamite.

I hadn't seen this until recently. Holy shit this guy is awkward.

Bam!

it's that time of the week again. Column

column

week 2 is here, I think this one might actually piss some people off.