NBA

With the Nba playoffs coming up, it can no longer be avoided that the season with the playoffs is starting to feel like baseball. Some teams are so far ahead in the standings the only time you see teams like Sac town is on the receiving end of a top-ten highlight on Sportscenter, dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun.

The NBA season needs to be shorter, maybe 20-25 games less. I feel like 60 might be the magic number. Just enough time to show how good certain teams and players are and how bad teams like the Clippers and the Kings really are. 

Speaking of bad teams, there should be a tournament of the teams that don't make the playoffs and the top prize is the 1st overall pick in the draft. The lottery is weak anyway, not to mention more fixed than the WWE (that was a Rick Reilly-ism, which I am sorry for). Because face it, the only person who is going to watch the lottery is Blake Griffin and he should return to school if the kings get the pick. Thanks but no thanks.

During the all-star game, fans should get to vote people into the slam dunk competition that they want to see. Nate Robinson vs. Dwight Howard– golf clap. But Kobe vs. Lebron vs. Gerald Wallace vs. (insert comedy pick) I choose Yao Ming. Then I want a dunk competition on an 8 foot rim with a ton of white people like Luke Ridnour vs. steve nash vs. luke walton vs. a retired dunker like an aged Dr. J or Charles Barkley.

 To finish off the all-star festivities, there will be a WNBA bake-off, and fans will be able to buy their favorite cookie or pastry to keep the league afloat. 

Lastly, I would like to tweak the playoffs. The top teams from east and west should be mixed by record and bracketed from there. Teams from the west should not get punished for being better than the teams in the east. 

Although, I am excited for Kobe v. Lebron in the finals. If you don't know by now the NBA is fixed, but with Lebron and Kobe on the tube, how could you flick over to the Duel II.

Fiction

I have to revise some of my short stories for my classes and I was wondering if any of you would be willing to read them. I need to change some things but I don't necessarily know what parts I want to dump and how to tinker with others. The more help the better. I am also offering some form of reward for those who help, probably alcohol. 

And don't think of this as helping, it's more entertainment for you (alright, that's probably a lie). But the writing is better than what I am putting up here. 

So let me know and I'll email it over to you.

Life Insurance

My roommate Carson just got an internship with Northwestern Mutual for the summer. He will be selling life insurance. 

If you or a family member needs life insurance, Carson is your man. That being said, if you do purchase a life insurance policy from him, as a small referral fee, I will put myself  down as your beneficiary– It's a small price to pay, really. 

Then I might try to kill you, just to cash in on your worth. Face it, you might be worth a lot more to me dead than you are right now (although I do value your ability to postpone your life to read my blog, you reading vs. $300,000 is a tough decision). 

Anyway, buy Carson's policies, so that in the sad occurrence that you do move on from this world, we can buy overly priced objects in your memory, like a full time cabana boy.

LSAT

I'm becoming my father, slowly but surely.

Day One of studying is in the books. I'm going to sign up for the june test and I am not taking the class. (Insert your reaction here, i.e. Idiot! What the fuck is he thinking! Who the fuck does he think he is?) Admittedly, this may seem like a bad idea, but I'm going to give it my best shot and see what happens. 

Also if any of you have materials that could help me that would be huge. 

Man Crush

You guys owe me for this one.  Not only can John Mayer shred, he's witty and looks great in a mankini. No wonder why Aniston is always begging for more.

College Decision

Young Andrew Melchor will be making his decision on which major university he will attend this fall, after finishing up his A.A. with honors from Chaffey. 

He has a tough choice, either take a shit ton of money from UC Irvine or UCSD, or be a regular guy at Cal (and be forced to take out student loans). 

Now for people who don't go to Cal, you might say, "Damn, that's a tough decision," but for those of us who do attend Berkeley, you are wondering what is taking him so long to get his ass up here. 

I'm still wondering. Hopefully he will make the right decision because I wouldn't trade my degree from Cal for any amount of money. 

So if you have a way of contacting Mr. Melchor, which you can do at ajmelchor.com because he mysteriously deleted his facebook, do it, often.

In other news, big-ups to Carter for getting into USC and UCLA's med schools. It's good to see someone, who has other things going for them other than school, get into some of the best schools in the nation.

April Fools

Yesterday Pao had the great idea to stage an intervention for jake being an alcoholic. Unfortunately, we didn't do it. 

So instead, we gang-banged him.

April Fools