Charlie Murphy

His "True Hollywood Stories" captured Jacuzzi Dude hearts everywhere for years and now, after a brief hiatus, Charlie Murphy returns as LeRoy Smith, the man who motivized Michael Jordan. 

This is epic.

Bad Days

This story will always make you feel better. 

There was once this guy name Jim. He had a pretty tough life, so the next time you think that your life sucks, think about Jim. 

These are the details of Jim's life. 

 Jim was the oldest of 4 brothers. When he was 13, his parents died in a car accident, leaving him to take care of his brothers. He worked two jobs in high school and never  had time for a girlfriend. 

He had a college scholarship, but couldn't accept it because he had to raise his siblings. They were his whole life. When his brothers reached the high school age, they rebelled against the only father figure they had– Jim. 

Jim wasn't a bad father, but they treated him like it. They refused to get jobs. They had fun and lived their lives. His closest brother, Jared, went off to college and was never heard from again. The youngest brother got into drugs and the middle brother alcohol. They were best friends and one night, just like their parents, were driving drunk and hit the center divider going 85 mph. Dead on impact. 

Jim, 22 at the time, fell into depression, struggling to come to grips with the loss of his brothers. The only thing that made him feel better was to work. He had become a manager at McDonalds. It had become his life. 

Jim worked himself to the bone. He thought it was from working so much and he didn't have to go to a doctor, so he just kept working. Jim's autopsy revealed that he had a severe heart condition. He had a heart attack while passing a bagged meal to a customer. There was nothing he could have done, it was all in his genetics. 

When Jim died at 25, he had no family and no friends. He was completely alone. He had never been kissed, never had a girlfriend, and never had a real emotional connection with anyone other than the family that left him. Jim died a virgin.

The End

Trust Issues

Last night in the party bus on the way to Alyse's formal in the city, this girl, who was visibly inebriated, asked me to hold her camera while she dropped a deuce.
And if you know me, or have trusted me with your camera, then you just said, "No, you idiot. just hold the camera yourself."
If you said this, then you should win a prize.
In the minute and a half that she was in the bathroom, I took probably 15-20 obscene pictures of myself.
When she got out, the girl was wondering how it came to be that I had her camera, so I explained that she had given it to me to hold.
She was still angry but she took her camera and moved on with the rest of her night. But when she went to load her pictures onto facebook, she had some surprises.
Most of my pictures did not make it up but these are priceless.

Let this be a lesson to all of you, I am a bad person and should never be trusted.

The Fuck-it List

Sometimes the shit that comes out of Sobosan's mouth is genius. Tonight, I brought up things to put on my bucket-list, like traveling to Hawaii. Alyse, who I interrupted while she was studying for two tests that she has tomorrow, fires back immediately, "You know, I'm going to make a fuck-it list. I think everyone should have one of those. 

Work? Fuck-it (check)

Midterm? Fuck-it (check)

There has to be one time in your life when you gotta say 'fuck it.'" 

And she's right. 

So I ask you to either comment with a fuck-it list idea or your own personal list.