Finals

I have been horrible about updating this lately. But my excuse is finals are here and they are owning my soul. Truth be told, I only have one final and three papers, so I shouldn't be bitching and I should just shut the fuck up and write. 

So here comes a rant on facebook statuses. I cannot tell you how annoying it is to read status after status that reads 

"...is 3 papers away and then freedom." Note: If you are going to use this, you must follow it up with something clever, new and fresh. Like how you are going to fuck up your exams or something ridiculous that you plan to do after. 

Working Example: "...is going to inseminate this test and then I'm going to Disneyland to inseminate Mickey Mouse." Also repetition works magic.

Or 

"is making Kevin Costner his bitch and is about to show him his field of dreams and cause more damage to his career than waterworld did."

More status fails:

"...thinks that finals should go away." Remedy: kill yourself.

 "...is in the stacks, come visit me." Answer: No and stay there. 

"... wishes she were at the beach rather than studying for poli sci 2." Remedy: Drop out now. You could live at the beach forever (read: The Hoff). 

"Joseph Cannon hates you, every single one of you."

Lastly, Facebook recently added the "I like" button. There should be a "kill yourself" button.