Mr. Patten's Chair- finals version

This is CT's favorite story probably of all time. In the span of 30 seconds, we ruined a relationship with a teacher, who, until that point was probably the most laid back teacher ever. 

Throughout the whole year, Tim and CT came together to try and ruin the yearbook, my co-editors in chief didn't let that happen, but they tried. They deleted pictures off of spreads, they drew penises on Paint and put them everywhere (actually, they drew a bit of everything– frozen jizzy shake machines, cocktopusses and other miscellany. the paint obsession started when tim drew a picture of himself hanging CT). They called themselves Bacardi and Cola and they did everything but get the job done. 

But we got the book out, so fuck them and we can laugh about it now. So this is spring of senior year, we are sitting in the Patten's classroom (the yearbook room) shooting shit as usual.  

Tim is sitting in Patten's very nice rolly leather chair, but this is not just any chair, this is the only nice thing that Patten has in his whole room. He paid for it himself and when a teacher is working at Damien High school making peanuts, this chair means a lot. 

We were left alone in the classroom, which is a fairly usual occurrence for Damien (read: happens in just about every class).

So tim is sitting there, rolling around. Some newspaper guys were in and out of the room and somehow a football player got Tim out of the chair and threw himself down into the nice chair trying to slide across the room– CRACK! 

Uh-oh. The newspaper guys slowly slink out like nothing happened. The chair looked fine, but when Tim got back into his chair, it was clear that one of the wheels was no longer rolling. 

Tim, for one reason or another, becomes infuriated that the chair doesn't roll. Rather than trying to fix it, Tim props the chair up so that the broken wheel is exposed and slams his foot down onto the plastic– CRACK! The wheel falls right off. 

Ct and I are sitting next to each other in desks a few feet away and we were shocked. What the fuck was he doing? We are laughing, dying, rolling on the floor. What are we going to do? It wasn't us. 

We can hear Patten coming down the hall from getting coffee. Tim puts the wheel in place and runs over to a desk.

Dead silence. Patten had to be thinking, what the fuck did they do now? He smiles his goofy smile and sits down in the chair– the wheel  pops off. 

"YOU MOTHERFUCKERS. WHO DID THIS? WHO?"

Dead silence, we are holding our breath and biting our lips to keep from laughing.

Patten gets more pissed. We still don't answer. We couldn't hold it in any longer. Everyone busts up in unison. 

 It only gets worse, when he says,

"YOU PEOPLE SHOW ME SUCH A LACK OF DISRESPECT." He picks up the wheel of the chair and hurls it across the room at my brother, coming within an inch of his face. 

Patten kicks us all out, telling us he never wants to see us again until one of us disrespecters comes out and says who did it. "YOU FUCKERS OWE ME A CHAIR. (TIM) GRACZA YOU OWE ME A CHAIR."

We came back the next day after Tim said that he broke it off only because Teddy broke it. Patten could have hit him. He wanted to as Tim smiled in his face, finishing every sentence with "Sir." 

"YOU STILL OWE ME A CHAIR."

He still hates Tim to this day. They had a chance meeting at Jake's grad party last summer, and Patten smiles about it now, but you can tell he's still not over the chair. And Tim never bought him a new one.