So Pao couldn't wait and decided that in the meantime he would tell a story that I told in a paragraph in my top ten drunk moments post, but this time it's from him.
Let this be a lesson to Krause– this is how you tell a story.
Why I'm no Longer Friends with Vodka
About 3 years ago my cousin, Ryan, threw a house warming party for his new apartment. The party mostly consisted of his co-workers (read: dudes).
I was probably about 3 drinks in and I went to make myself another drink. I poured a shot of vodka in a cup and made a screwdriver. One of Ryan's co-workers comes over to pour a drink and decides that my drink is entirely too weak. He also makes me a screwdriver but with a shot of OJ and the rest vodka.
Me: No, I'm too fucked up to drink that.
Him: Just drink this first and then you can drink your drink.
One of my weaknesses in the realm of drinking is being challenged to such a feat. If you bet me I can't drink something...I'll drink it. If you challenge me to some sort of drinking competition...I'll accept it. I may not be the best at it but I'll sure as hell get fucked up trying.
I proceed to chug the drink he made (whoa...I was just about to type "chug his screwdriver"...that could have ended poorly) and then continue on to my drink.
In hindsight, there were only 2 motives for him to concoct such a drink.
1. He was trying to bro-rape me.
2. He was trying to get me fucked up enough to entertain the party.
*Fast forward about 3 minutes*
I'm fucked up and entertaining the party. I was eating chips...check that...people were putting trails of chips on the floor and I was eating them.
After a while it really hits me and I'm beyond fucked up...I'm in "where's the nearest trash can mode". However instead of playing "where's the nearest trash can" I decide to play "fuck this I'm puking all over the carpet in Ryan's new apartment".
My brother takes me and quarantines me in the bathroom. He's on the phone with an on-call nurse trying to figure out the symptoms of alcohol poisoning while I'm stripped down to my boxers in the shower with water running on me.
After talking to the nurse for a bit my brother says "Andrew, on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel?"
Me: "Two...no...three"
My bro: "Andrew, two or three"
Me: "Two point three"
About 3 years ago my cousin, Ryan, threw a house warming party for his new apartment. The party mostly consisted of his co-workers (read: dudes).
I was probably about 3 drinks in and I went to make myself another drink. I poured a shot of vodka in a cup and made a screwdriver. One of Ryan's co-workers comes over to pour a drink and decides that my drink is entirely too weak. He also makes me a screwdriver but with a shot of OJ and the rest vodka.
Me: No, I'm too fucked up to drink that.
Him: Just drink this first and then you can drink your drink.
One of my weaknesses in the realm of drinking is being challenged to such a feat. If you bet me I can't drink something...I'll drink it. If you challenge me to some sort of drinking competition...I'll accept it. I may not be the best at it but I'll sure as hell get fucked up trying.
I proceed to chug the drink he made (whoa...I was just about to type "chug his screwdriver"...that could have ended poorly) and then continue on to my drink.
In hindsight, there were only 2 motives for him to concoct such a drink.
1. He was trying to bro-rape me.
2. He was trying to get me fucked up enough to entertain the party.
*Fast forward about 3 minutes*
I'm fucked up and entertaining the party. I was eating chips...check that...people were putting trails of chips on the floor and I was eating them.
After a while it really hits me and I'm beyond fucked up...I'm in "where's the nearest trash can mode". However instead of playing "where's the nearest trash can" I decide to play "fuck this I'm puking all over the carpet in Ryan's new apartment".
My brother takes me and quarantines me in the bathroom. He's on the phone with an on-call nurse trying to figure out the symptoms of alcohol poisoning while I'm stripped down to my boxers in the shower with water running on me.
After talking to the nurse for a bit my brother says "Andrew, on a scale of one to ten, how do you feel?"
Me: "Two...no...three"
My bro: "Andrew, two or three"
Me: "Two point three"
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hahaha well done
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